Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
