it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
not ubering you a puppy
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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