I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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