help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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