I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Randomize
