I'm lost and stupid without you.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
