she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
