So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Randomize
