Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Randomize
