Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Randomize
