I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
Randomize
