after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
