nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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