I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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