I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
