Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
