so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
