Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
