so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
