therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
two words...techno handjob
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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