I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
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