Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
