I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
