Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
