all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
