yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Panties = found
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
