I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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