So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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