Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
