Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
