"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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