I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
