Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
