He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
Randomize
