Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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