so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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