Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
