what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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