i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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