Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Randomize
