You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Randomize
