oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
