I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
