when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
