There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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