So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize