you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
