Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
