The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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