you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
