how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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