sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Randomize
