Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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