Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
