Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
