Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize