can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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