If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
