Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Are my feet made of real feet?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
