Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
