I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
