Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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